My friends, it is with great excitement and respect that I announce my running mate, your next vice president, Ayla Del Albera. She is a young woman but in her short life, she has seen much and understands the struggles facing Americans today.
Unlike her opponents, Ayla is very Pro-Cat and has consistently voted for resolutions supporting a Cat's right to dominate a household. In fact, when considering accepting the opportunity to run for VP, she consulted her senior cat, Misty, for her approval. Misty admittedly could not be bothered with such trivialities but consented that she would not really approve of anyone else in that position anyway. Anna was unavailable for comment as she was in silent meditation in a brown paper bag.
Like myself, Ayla is ready to work hard to win the support of Americans and be a strong representation of The Herding Party values. Ayla is aware of the growing threat of the Squirrel problem. In fact, she can see them from her house.
I know you are wondering if she really has the executive experience required to be my vice or to be the president if required. My friends, Ayla has been around the block. She knows which streets have the meanest dogs. She can judge the proverbial weather. And, she, like myself, knows well enough that when the rain comes, stay inside. Stay inside.
I invite you to get to know Ayla over these next weeks. I think you will see that together we are the sheepdogs to bring the change this country desperately desires, like a bag of treats on the dining room table.
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