Famous Dog Times: An Interview

I was recently featured in an article in Famous Dog Times. At the risk of letting my popularity go straight to my flocky head, I am sharing an excerpt of that interview here so that my fans may be privy to the insider's answers to questions you've always wanted to ask. Oh, and they interviewed Ayla a bit as well.

FDT: So, Orso, you've had a lot of readers to your blog. How has the notoriety changed you?

Orso: Well, I try to keep it real you know, for the fans. The paparazzi was a bit of an affair before my blog. In fact, the blog was originally intentioned as a way for the peeps to channel their curiosity. Before this, people were taking all kinds of pictures of me with their cell phones, with digital cameras out of car windows, and so on. This provides real access to the real me. I guess to really answer your question, I'd say that I've always been a noteworthy dog, it just has more substance now.

(Ayla: Notes? I like to eat paper! Yea paper!)

FDT: We are dying to know who you're favoring in the upcoming election. Can you share just a bit of your political leanings? Your existential, liberal nature must be evident here, no?

Orso: I say bring back people like Shirley Chisholm, someone who can speak strongly for the people. She fought for the right to be heard and used her public time to share her ideas. I'm really still trying to puzzle out just where everyone stands. These days, it's a challenge to get more than just personality.

(Ayla: I have a new gray elephant rope toy. Yea toys!)

FDT: We've all seen the pictures of you on your couch. So on any given day, when you are kickin' back with a bully stick, what sort of music do you love to listen to?

Orso: I love instrumental jazz like Coltrane and Miles. Mom actually sings and plays guitar and most of the time, frankly, I find that to be pretty annoying. I have to leave the room. Folk music - blah blah, why me? why us? it's so sad what's happening blah blah G chord D chord C chord blah.

(Ayla: Raffi! I love Raffi! Yea Raffi Yea! Peace is cool la la la!)

FDT: You've been called, "The Existential Dog Poet," "The Dog's Dog," and "Orso: Funny Man with an Edge." Do these names tell you that your fans are getting you or are they missing the big picture of who you are?

Orso: Good question. Good question. You know, it doesn't matter really. We dogs are so used to being anthropomorphized and projected upon - it's just become a part of our relationship with our people. I am who you think I am, man. I am Dog.

(Ayla: Me too I'm a dog too me too. Yea! Me too yea!)

FDT: Last question, Orso, what other famous dog do you admire - either present or past?

Orso: I like a dog with a strong work ethic and strength, both inner and physical. So I have to go with Sam the Sheepdog. He clocked in and out everyday. It sounds simple but that Wolf never got those sheep, you know what I mean?

(Ayla: Sheepies? Me supposed to do stuff with sheepies? Where dem sheepies? Yea sheepies! Oh boy sheepies!)

FDT: Anything else you want to tell your fans, Orso?

Orso: Sure, thanks to everyone who reads the blog. We really love your comments too. It keeps me writing and thinking. Oh, and for those of you who asked me to, you can now subscribe to my blog (over to the right) and you get an email when there is a new post.

(Ayla: Hi fans! Hi! Yea! Do you see me through the 'mputer? Mmmm power cords. Yea yea yea!)

That Which Should Never Be Named Nor Discussed

I'd been hearing wind of it for a few weeks, but I dismissed it as me not hearing all of the conversation. Even when Mom sat me down to tell me about the procedure, I still didn't quite believe it would happen.

It was a rainy Friday morning, and Mom put us in the car just like any other day. When we pulled up to the vet, I thought Ayla must need something because I've been feeling pretty darn good. I do love going to the vet, especially this vet, but I didn't want to get out of the car in the rain. Despite my obvious protest, Mom pulled me from the car and brought me in and then did something she's never done........She left me there.

Everyone was very nice and Dr. Lord came to hang out with me. Pretty soon, I was in a deep sleep and when I woke up, I felt some pain of course, but also an emptiness. I felt a little umph, a shenesequa, a part of me was just sort of gone. Hmm, they really did IT.

I took one for the team. We can't really risk Ayla getting in a family way while she is so young. It's okay, I'm okay. Dr. Lord took really good care of me and even called to check up on me a few times.

I'm not sure how I will feel as the next days and months roll on, but right now, when I think about Aria, my pulse beats a bit faster. You can't take that away from me.

Heel, Come, Sit, Down, and Cookies

It's like they never stop training The Kid. "Ayla down, ayla sit, ayla this way, ayla good girl, oh no ayla not in the house, ayla blah blah, blah ayla blah, blah, blah." I've just started tuning them out. Yammering aside, the good thing about all this is that there are lots more cookies going on. Suddenly, every time I sit, I'm getting a cookie too. Not that there has been a cookie shortage in my life, but The Kid requires lots of positive reinforcement tools. I just sort of started doing everything they ask her to do, and wah-lah, the cookies keep on coming.

Today's walk was at a new place called Ridge Hill. We found some nice soft sand to play in. I practiced my elegant leaping and The Kid dug a few holes and ran around like a ..... puppy. I do get it: She's cute, very cute. I have even enjoyed kissing her a bit here and there. But it will be nice when she becomes a little more distinguished, a little more dignified, a little more polite, a little more like me.

Do You See What's Happening Here?

Remember me and MY couch?

I wrote a lovely poem about it's splendor.

I have even shared so nicely.

Mom always straightens out my blankets for me to make it the perfect Bergamasco nest.

But now? As you can plainly see, as evidenced by the above photo, which clearly demonstrates, and conspicuously capitulates that The Kid is taking over. This is not a puppy in the middle of a sweet snuggle. This is not, "But Big Brother, it's so cold, lend me your flocky warmth." No, this is a slow and deliberate take over of my spot. And a take over of Mom's snuggle blanket, I might add.

Luckily, generally speaking, The Kid has an alarmingly short attention span and smushes me for short periods before abandoning me for a chew toy.

I think Dad was hip to my dilemma and tried to find Ayla her very own spot:

This is fine, actually, as it gets her not only off of my couch but literally out of my hair for a bit. But if you refer to the sandwich post, you will realize as I did, that technically, this is still a take-over.

{PS: You might have noticed that I really am getting the hang of embedded links and moving pictures around. Hopefully, I did not just create one of those shows that is supposed to be a new show but they keep just showing snippets of previous shows, because that is so lame.}

mmmm...fluffy sandwiches

How to Make a Fluffy Sandwich

Begin with an open faced clam chair of a comfy variety, preferably with soft pillows.
Add one medium sized person who if you are lucky is covered in an blanket. Let the person get significantly warm and comfortable.
Add one beautiful (if I do say so myself) 6 year old gray and black Bergamasco, male.
Top off with a smallish 5 month old soft Bergamasco puppy, female.

Let sit for long enough for all to find comfortable locations amidst the body parts and chair contortions.

Enjoy the fluffy, flocky, persony goodness.

New Year's Revolutions

I heard the downtown fireworks last night from the warm cozy sanctity of my couch and watched Mom fight to stay up to midnight. And I knew what night this was. New Year's Eve.

Dad suggested that I work on some resolutions for the new year in keeping with tradition. As I thought it over, however, I realized that I don't have any goals, any need to change who I am to meet who I think I ought to be in the course of 365 days.

I think once again you could all consider the dog's perspective here. I could resolve to be more in the present, but man, I am so there. Or here, as it were.

I could resolve to be closer to my family, but our closeness grows naturally with the flow of time, in each walk, in each shared meal, in each journey together.

I could resolve to lose weight or be healthier, but I am concerned with neither. I only eat until I am satisfied. I exercise daily and get plenty of couch time.

So instead of resolutions, my dear readers, I am promoting only revolutions. You human people have a lot of work to do in this area - the government needs a serious shift-a-roo, people need to come together and support each other. I could go on about how you all should be able to go to the doctor when you are sick, but I digress.

The dog revolution is different. We really only require a few stand-up changes, really. Driver's licenses are a good start. We shouldn't have to wait to "go for a ride."

The handle for the refrigerator should be lowered and turned 90 degrees for ease of canine opening. Though, given a few months, The Kid may figure out how to do that one all on her own.

Lastly, we here at the Bring About Revolution Kanine (BARK) are extremely interested in forming a new branch of the internet - a dot dog if you will - our own virtual dog park. This would make communication go way beyond a good sniff if you know what I mean.

I wish all of you a wonderful New Year - May it be filled with personal revolutions.